Statutes

A while ago I and Cristian visited the Museum Beelden aan Zee in Scheveningen. Tom Otterness has a fixed exhibition at the sea side, called Miracles at Sea. The displayed statutes are adorable -which represent fairy tales. Scheveningen beach is already a nice place to be (I spent many wonderful years working at the Northern part of the beach) - but this exhibition makes it an even better experience.

Back to school

A few weeks ago I attended a reunion at my high school in Amersfoort. My high-school period was a time of mixed feelings: experiencing nasty treats of freaked pupils during my first year, but meeting many friends in consecutive years. Looking back my time at the Farel college overall was very nice.

Schools are strange places to be, they take such a decissive role in shaping our lives. During the first year I sometimes had sink in my shoes when entering the schoolyard. I looked up to the popular groups of smoking and swearing young people, often terrorizing the environment for those who did not fit their vision on reality. They led to a seperation of groups of young people, the popular and the not so popular. And so it turned that my best friend from primary school ended up in the popular club, and I ended up in the impopular club. To keep up his own reputation he then had to kick me during the terribly ritual week openings (I attended a Christian school), pretending that he did that as I reaction to me beating him. It made me want to stay at home.

In the second year it seemed that people gave up their ideas on belonging to a certain group. Their identies became increasingly constructed on rather individual characteristics, moving away from common group values which made it necessary to harass individuals that they could not identify with. It removed my fears and opened space for me to develop myself, while sticking to my own identity and not having to act cool anymore.

Slowly I started enjoying school. Slowly those who had been popular once, started to become impopular. I became secure, they remained uncertain. Then I started participating in school bodies, participating in a Bertolt Brecht play and organising school parties. All was I think very perfect than, except from one thing: I did not dare to come out. Where others started responding to their puberty needs, I was confused about my own feelings. There was no possible way of me coming out the closet, I did not experience school as a place to do so.

At the reunion I saw a lot of people that I didn't see for a long time. It was somehow a bit strange. It was nice to see some people again, but it was strange to experience that teachers -whom I experienced as having played an important role in my development - did not even remember your name anymore.

Below a picture with Kees - whom I see way too little!

Morning dew

When the streets are still empty and dew is covering the fields. I have always enjoyed the morning silence. The morning can be like a little secret - a state-of-art that you do not have to share with all those people that are still sleeping. The nature awakes a bit earlier than I tend to do - but is in such beautiful peace at morning.

The last days I woke up early naturally - probably as a result of changing my clock a few times throughout the past week.

Reflection

The last weeks are extremely busy - little time for reflections! But I have enjoyed these weeks extremely... they've been inspiring and charged me for the last weeks of the year to come. Some Cypriotic reflection I captured that I can't stop looking at below!

If I were a poet

I would live my life with words
Rephrase the sense of being
Understand vocabular of love
Listen songs of sadness
I would live my life with words
Just
If I were a poet

Street lights

The past week I've attended the ILGA-Europe annual conference in Vilnius. It was a good conference, with interesting speakers and a lot of useful new contacts. Smoke bombs in a bar next to the conference venue late at night were less nice. But, unfortunately for the perpetrators, less impressive. A bit of smoke does not spoil the evening of group of activists that knows what its working for. The protest outside of the conference venue was also not very impressive compared to the discussions that were going on at the same time inside of the venue.

After Vilnius I traveled to Kyrgyzstan. I visited our (COC's)partner organisation Labrys - which is doing an incredible deal of work in Bishkek. With a taxi we moved on to Talas, a city with 40.000 inhabitants, no street ligths available - and poor sanitary conditions. Work is only seasonal - leaving many people in the winter to alcohol only. Charactarized by a very strong family tradition the youngest child of each family is expected to take care of the parents. A society in which it is terribly difficult for LGBT people to live.

It took as a flat tire to reach Talas - getting to Almaty afterwards resulted in a broken engine, leaving us at the highway. Fortunately two Kazakhs were friendly enough to drop us of at our hotel - reaching comfort which suddenly made me feel spoiled.

So here I sit - in the lobby of the Kazakhstan hotel, updating my blog. Another day before going home. Tonight it's time to explore some of the local scene, which -yes- does exist.