Gie

Tonight I saw the story of Soe Hok Gie, a young Chinese-Indonesian guy who grew up in the militaristic post-colonial period in Indonesia, which was ruled by Soekarno and Soeharto. The patriarch was struggling for a true democratic Indonesia, leaving the militarism and communism on the other side. His struggle was brave, and of course he ended up paying the most expensive price possible for his truth believe. It is idealism of people like Gie that fascinates me. Pragmatic reasons often take me away from idealism, they turn my idealism in a less honorable strive to integrity. His idealism was not one of Para-militant protesters fighting against vested powers, but he was an intellectual leader of the Indonesian student movement during the sixties. Later he also published his ideas. He did this during years when the government was not censuring the media yet, soon after the government started. At many days I dare to wonder whether I should let my pragmatism overrule my idealism, I sometimes even wonder why I don’t do that. However the fact is that I do not, and that I contrary believe that I have to respect made choices, even if they’re mine.

“I do not want to be bamboo bending for the wind,
I want to be an oak standing firm.”

Watching portraits like this always make me feel strong, they make me believe in the power that is in people. They make me believe that tomorrow I can change the world. Afterwards a melancholic mood, yes indeed mostly occurring during traveling by train, overrules me and I loose the will to get disciplined tomorrow morning and change my whole life for sake of the world. Still, I hope that tomorrow morning I will wake up being a bit more disciplined in realizing my ideals.



The era of International Film festivals, such as the one in Rotterdam I visited tonight, always fascinates me. Walking through the buildings where the movies are screened makes you feel part of another world for a while. I am not sure whether this is caused by surrounding people who fantasize themselves being part of the surreal world they are watching, or whether it’s just me being in an artistic environment I don’t visit too often. Analyzing movies like these feels like walking on ice: in the middle of so many movie phanatics you soon have a wrong interpretations. Tonight I just left the movie festival straight after the movie, sticking to my own reality of what I saw. Gie, who didn't show much affection to girls, was not gay, I thought. However, the website of the Filmfestival (www.filmfestivalrotterdam.nl), told me that the homosexual aspect of the movie remained uncensored. I have to visit more film festivals!